The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and she was petting her beer can
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
