Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
