Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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