i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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