You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
