from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
