that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
