physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
