That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
