I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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