why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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