It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
