talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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