so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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