Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
