"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
