So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i came on her dog
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
