dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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