seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry about my life...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
