Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
