We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
