I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
