I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
