It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
