Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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