I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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