You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
