im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
