I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
