I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have fence marks all over my body
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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