Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
