wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
