is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
