i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
