Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
