Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
