He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
