Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
