There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
