Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
