I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
