She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
