No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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