I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize