im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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