ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
