I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Drunk is not a location!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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