his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
