oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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