friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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