just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
