so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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