I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
