I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
