can u get pink eye on your cock?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
