I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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