Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
