I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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