2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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