yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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