he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
