Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
