worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
