this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
