The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
