I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
