well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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