Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
