I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
